O Cameron, days get hard, but I get stronger. Sometimes the hard times take over and I finally over come them. Those are the days when I miss you unbearably. Writing love songs for someone, someone 1000 miles away sound easier then it actually is. There are many times I wake up face sticky with tears, pillow damp, heart racing, head spinning, o lovers loving. Missing isn’t easy to let happen, hurt isn’t e
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Lost, stolen, yet never forgotten…
I begin to make friends with shadows on my wall. Noone seems to suffice anymore. No one can compare to you. My tears burn my face, permanent trails engrave my skin, where the moisture was left behind. My heart is sore, words cannot describe. Life maybe eventful but its like Im in a straight jacket just watching it all go by. Its not that I want to be that way, but I can’t grasp the concept of being without you. Hands shake, reaching out for a place they are safe and warm and fit perfectly. My head is heavy, yet cannot rest, permentally disabled until I see you again. With every word I write, I am weary. I want to describe everything quiet perfectly as if you could see me now. My hair is knotted messy on top of my head, my clothes miss matched not like anyone else will see, eyes begin fading, the circles around get lost in the dark, stomach aching yet food cannot feel this part of me. I want to be with you now, we fit so perfectly. I can wait for my baby to live his dreams, cause mine is just that he is always happy. I love you don’t EVER forget it.
when i close my eyes im looking into yours
Laughing comes easy
when Im with you
Smiling isn’t a hard thing to do
I hope you know,
you my favorite
When i say i like you,
I mean it,
I hope you know that to.
When a tear rolls silently across my face,
I always feel that warm embrace,
That i understand to be you,
Holding on,
Hopefully never letting go.
I hope you know,
when i close my eyes,…
im looking into yours.
World Views
Don’t you wish that sometimes the world would just stop, pause, give you a break. Well it doesn’t so welcome back to reality. The world doesn’t care. It doesn’t care if you are down to your last penny or over your head in debt. It doesn’t care if your heart is broken, matter of fact it probally thrives off heart breaks, evil things, manipulative commments, it only wants to kill,steal and destroy, not build you up. Take a look around, noone is safe here, you need someone to care for you. Not everyone has someone that cares, thats why we need to break out of shell of selfishness and surround ourselves in a shell of selflessness. The world is a terrible place, if you let it be. Don’t hide yourself in a shadow, show your true colors in the sun. Im not writing this to be all HAPPY and annoying and all about CARING FOR OTHERS Im writing this to show that good things can happen. You just to have to make the initiative and go for it.
AYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Narcotics, pain killers, anything that makes you sleep, Ive tried it, doesn’t work. I haven’t slept in five days. Its not that Im trying not to, its that I can’t. I have so much stuff on my mind right now, its driving me crazy, literally! School, work, house, car, food, everything Ive come to take for granted is slowly being taken away from me. Im trying so hard to put this puzzle together, but the pieces are fallin into the floor. Im trying so hard to grin and bare it, to smile, but its like I forgot how. I want to remember but Ive lost myself, and its scaring me, Ive lost myself and Im trying to hold on, brace myself for what is to come. Everything works out that is meant to. I have been convinced of that , I truly believe that, that God is in control. I wish tears would heal everything, it would be easier that way, but it doesn’t. But I think Ill be able to sleep tonight, cause Im turning all my trouble over to Him. Im know thats the way its supposed to be. Now worrying isnt one of them, stupid planes, and brother lol 
Missing you
Laying on the ground looking up at the sky.
As I begin to think , my soul begins to cry,
Tears that burn the fabric of time.
Nothing seems to stay in line.
Sitting in the darkness,
Its hard to stay awake,
But the thoughts of you linger there,
In a dreamy kind of state.
The kind of state that gives you chills,
Makes you want to break the barrier, anything you will.
Sitting and thinking like only the impossible can get me through,
Suddenly I can talk to you.
Now my voice is kind of shaky,
Hiding 7 weeks of tears.
My hands pointed toward the sky,
From 7 weeks of prayer.
Continue on the last I will do,
Because it is what pulled me through.
(I hope you dont hate this, or me.)
Memories
Looking out the window
its hard to see your face
kind of blurry like a shadow
yet warm like your embrace
I feel it creep upon me
my head is in your hand
i see us very vividly
drawing pictures in the sand
laying, unmoved by shreds of times
my memories begins to pass
the only memories i can hold on to
are the ones I want to last
I pick them out very carefully
treating each one the same way
unless it includes you
then I put it in my pocket
and save it for a rainy day
My pockets keep filling
yet on the table, memories are few
then I realize, the only memories I want to last
Are the ones of you.
Im back, or Im bringing it
Ive changed, for the better. Im back, thankful for warm weather. But things won’t change once the weather ends, thanks to all my new friends. I wasn’t proud of who I became, standing outside in the pouring rain. Its over now, Ive left who I had become, behind. Im so glad because now I can find, the person that I want forever to be. I hope everyone likes the new me!
Daddy’s Little Girl
Everyone has flaws, right? Well people try to hide them, but if everyone has flaws then why hide them? I have flaws, no one is perfect, but my dad seems to like to rub them in my face. I try to stay out of his way, he is the most intimidating person I have ever met. No matter how hard I try to avoid it, we seem to constantly be at each other. I tried to talk to him, he only seems to block me out of his world, like I used to try to do to him, until I matured. Im kind of scared of him, ok Im FULLY scared. Yes, I do have him tied around my finger, I guess you could call it a LOVE – HATE relationship. I wish he would just love me, not hate me, thats what I want, kind of what I need to finish maturing, daddy’s guidance, not his puishments and yelling, his wisdom and understanding. Understanding that I really am truly sorry, and I really mean it, his understanding that I am growing up and want to try things to learn, not just be warned about the consequences. Daddy Im sorry, I wish I could take everything back that ever hurt you, hurt me , I wish I could be Daddy’s little girl once again, I wish you would understand me, but you can’t seem to figure me out, Daddy please try, try Daddy please.
